We are dependent on other people for our survival. This is why we instinctively build bonds with others. Children have an innate ability to be likable and to make adults care for them. But even when we grow up, we have to build our network of relationships. The larger the network, and the stronger the bonds are, the more power we have.
This is why it’s only normal to care (and worry) about what others think about us. We want people to like us, we are obsessing about how they see our actions. And at the same time, it pisses us off. It’s frustrating that other people’s actions and words can affect us so much. We wish we could care less about what other people think. We wish we could just do what we wanted without looking over our shoulders. We wish we didn’t have to constantly analyze everyone else trying to guess what they think about us.
So what can we do about it? Some people choose to stop caring to avoid getting hurt, but that’s the wrong way to handle it. You don’t want to become an arrogant jerk who doesn’t give a damn about anything, so much so that people around you don’t want to have anything to do with you. You want to care, you need to be vulnurable and reveal the things that are important to you.
Do you know what the best way to get into a highly competitive market saturated with big and strong players is? The best way is to refuse to play their game and go and start a new market; a market that you can dominate right away. The same thing can apply to our worries about how people will react to the things we say and do. To free ourselves up from them, we need to divert our attention to something else, something that is so important and that we care so much about, that the opinions of others become secondary to us. We frankly stop caring about those things, because all our attention is being preoccupied by that big vision.
Read more: “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” by Mark Manson